Low libido: why our desire fluctuates (and how to rekindle it)

We'd like to think that libido works like a light switch: you turn it on and desire appears.

But in real life... it's more like a rollercoaster.

Some periods of our lives are full of desire and passion, while others are more like a romantic desert. And if this happens to you, know one important thing:

You're far from alone.

Fluctuations in libido are extremely common, in both men and women. They're a normal part of body and mind.

The good news? Understanding why libido changes is often the first step to getting it back.

What exactly is libido?

Simply put, libido is sexual desire.

But contrary to popular belief, it doesn't just depend on physical attraction.

It is influenced by several factors:

• emotional state
• hormones
• stress and mental load
• fatigue
• physical health
• relationship quality
• self-confidence

So libido is like a barometer of overall well-being.

When one of these elements changes, desire can also fluctuate.

Why does libido decrease?

A drop in libido can have several causes, and they often combine.

Stress and mental load

Stress is probably one of the greatest enemies of sexual desire.

When the brain is busy dealing with responsibilities, worries or mental fatigue, it activates survival mode rather than pleasure mode.

The result: desire sadly pauses.

Fatigue and lack of sleep

Chronic fatigue can dramatically reduce libido.

When the body lacks energy, it prioritizes essential functions like recovery and stress management, leaving less room for sexual desire.

And let's be honest: after a long day, it's sometimes more tempting to choose sleep over seduction.

Hormonal changes

Hormones play a major role in libido.

Several periods in life can influence desire, such as:

• pregnancy and post-partum
• menstrual cycle
• hormonal contraception
• perimenopause and menopause
• testosterone depletion

These changes can also affect :

• desire
• lubrication
• sensitivity
• sexual energy

Routine in the couple

Novelty naturally stimulates desire.

At the start of a relationship, discovery activates dopamine, the hormone associated with pleasure and excitement.

Over time, love remains, but routine can reduce stimulation.

The good news: desire can be rekindled when curiosity and novelty are reintroduced.

Body image and confidence

Feeling good about your body plays an important role in your libido.

When we constantly criticize ourselves or lack confidence, the brain stays in analysis mode rather than sensation mode.

Pleasure often requires one essential thing: feeling comfortable in your own skin. Focus on what you like about yourself, your body and your personality.

Is the loss of libido permanent?

In most cases, no.

Libido works in cycles, a bit like energy or mood.

Certain periods of life can temporarily reduce desire:

• stressful periods
• young children and lack of sleep
• hormonal changes
• physical or mental fatigue

When these factors improve, libido can return naturally.

How to improve your libido naturally

The right approach is not to force desire, but rather to create the right conditions for its return.

Reduce the pressure around sex

The more sex becomes an obligation, the more desire can diminish.

Focusing on connection, tenderness and moments of complicity often helps to revive arousal.

Reintroduce novelty

Novelty stimulates the brain and can rekindle libido.

This can include:

• trying out new sensual experiences
• discovering new pleasure accessories
• changing intimate routines
• taking quality time as a couple

Sometimes, a simple change can rekindle the spark.

Stimulating imagination and desire

Desire often begins in the mind before the body.

Flirting, complicit messages, anticipation and emotional connection can go a long way to reawakening the libido.

Exploring your own pleasure

Getting to know your body is a powerful way to reconnect with desire.

Personal exploration allows you to :

• discover what gives pleasure
• increase sensitivity
• reduce pressure to perform

Above all, it helps you develop a more positive relationship with your sexuality.

When should you consult a professional?

It may be useful to consult a health professional if :

• the drop in libido lasts several months
• it causes distress in the couple
• it appears suddenly
• is accompanied by pain or other symptoms

A doctor can check whether there is a hormonal or medical cause.

Libido is not supposed to be constant

This is perhaps the most important thing to remember.

Libido changes with :

• our stress
• our responsibilities
• our health
• our relationship with ourselves

And this is perfectly normal.

Rather than trying to maintain a constant desire, the goal is often to learn to listen to our body and its needs.

At Sensations Plus, pleasure is part of well-being

Exploring your sensuality, discovering new sensations or simply reconnecting with your desire is a healthy and natural approach.

Everyone's sexuality is different, and there's no one right way to explore pleasure.

The important thing is to feel respected, curious and in tune with yourself.

FAQ to answer your questions

Why has my libido decreased?

Decreased libido can be caused by stress, fatigue, hormones, life changes, medication or a couple's routine.

Is it normal to have fluctuations in libido?

Yes, libido varies naturally throughout life and can be influenced by many physical and emotional factors.

How can I regain a stronger libido?

Reducing stress, improving sleep, introducing novelty into the relationship, exploring personal pleasure and communicating with your partner can help rekindle desire.

Is the loss of libido permanent?

In most cases, no. It is often temporary and linked to life or health factors.