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Guidelines for enjoying anal sex

The Pleasure of Anal Sex

Guidelines for enjoying anal sex

Anal penetration can be painful for those physically and psychologically unprepared for it, but it can also be immensely enjoyable, if you take the time to observe a few simple rules.

The anal sphincter (the muscle situated at the extremity of the anus) usually contracts automatically when it is touched or stimulated: the introduction of the penis, or even of a finger, can be painful. If you force your way through, your partner will find it painful, and can even result in damage to the internal or external tissue of the rectum.

Real desire
Anal penetration will only be enjoyable if both parties genuinely desire it. Fear or stress will prevent the sphincter from relaxing and make penetration painful. Never force your way through, as the resultant pain could be intense and cause subsequent long term psychological inhibition. So, to help prepare for this, consider the following possible approaches: discuss it, and gradually make physical preparations. Discuss it with your partner to dissipate any possible fear around this new and unknown sexual practice, and really listen to and understand your partner's feelings.

Prepare the area to allow your partner to associate anal stimulation with sexual desire. For example, during normal intercourse, ideally just when the woman reaches an orgasm, the man can first delicately caress and titillate her rectum with a finger, without actually penetrating it. The area is very sensitive, and these caresses should be enjoyable for the woman. Next time, the man can try and introduce just the tip of his finger, at the point of orgasm. If his partner wants more she will soon let him know...!

Good hygiene
Some people clean their rectum before anal penetration, either in the shower or by means on an enema. After penetration, you should at any rate thoroughly clean anything which has penetrated, or simply been in contact with, the anus: fingers, penis, toys or any other object, before touching the genitals again, or the mouth.

This is to prevent any bacterial infection, such as vaginitis. Beware of analingus (licking your partner's rectum) : it can transfer anal bacteria to your mouth and your stomach, and cause serious infections such as gastroenteritis, hepatitis, etc.

Good lubrication
Unlike the vagina, the anus is not naturally lubricated when the woman is sexually aroused. It is therefore virtually indispensable to use a lubricant, -preferably a water-based gel- to facilitate penetration. Some gels come in very useful dispensing packs (useful for when you have your hands full!).

Gradual preparation
The sphincter muscle can dilate a lot and accept even a large penis without pain, but you must be patient and the move must be gradual. If your partner feels pain, before or after penetration, it is probably because their sphincter was not sufficiently relaxed. You can prepare for penetration by using a specially-designed dildo that is very smooth and is narrower than a man's penis.

This device can be more easily introduced and can gradually and painlessly dilate the sphincter, this will be more effective than a finger. Take your time: use the dildo for at least five to ten minutes to ensure complete relaxation and dilation, before you try and introduce your penis. You can even use two dildos, starting with a narrow one.

Putting women in control
To avoid any pain, it is better to leave the control of penetration entirely to the woman. She will then feel reassured and will relax. To begin with, she can even introduce a dildo herself, and control the motions and rhythm.

When she feels at ease, she can let the man take over, at least partly: following the same principle, she can then guide her partner's penis, making the movements herself to let it gradually come in. Later she can let her partner take a more active role, guiding him only with words...

Using a condom
If a man practices anal sex without using a condom, the bacteria in his partner's rectum can sometimes cause burning sensations on his penis and infection of his urethra.

Of course, if one of the two partners is HIV positive, there is a huge risk of transmission of the virus, and the risk is much greater with anal sex, particularly for the woman, than with other sexual practices such as vaginal penetration or oral sex.

This is because the tissues of the anus and rectum tear more easily, which facilitates the transmission of the virus into the blood. A condom is therefore an absolute must, and must be replaced before going back to vaginal penetration.